The Interview (Part III)

(Trigger Warning: Death/Loss)

Eugene was the type of man who would give you the shirt off his back even if he only had one left. He was kind, but firm. Gentle, but no-nonsense. Delilah was willing to bet he could count his lies on one hand, and he had never given her a reason to doubt him. As much as he kept to himself she knew him fairly well, so seeing him so broken was difficult for her. Hairline fractures spread throughout her heart as she witnessed his pain. The organ felt heavy in her chest. She sat with him in silence, so that he didn’t have to bear the agony alone. Sometimes a person needs quiet company when words aren’t enough.

The thing about losing someone is that it never truly stops hurting. It fades to black for a while thanks to life’s countless distractions, but it’s only temporary. The sorrow comes in waves. Moving on was incredibly difficult, Delilah knew. People often forget that something as simple as going to breakfast at your favorite diner can provide an onslaught of countless memories. Memories that bring both joy and sadness. It’s never as simple as just moving on. Grief is love with no place to go.

Eugene wiped his eyes on his sleeve, “I’m so sorry darlin’. It’s the first time I’ve let myself admit that she’s gone.”

“Please don’t apologize. I wish I could offer you greater comfort. I feel like I’m failing you,” she replied.

“I don’t believe the word ‘failure’ is anywhere in the Delilah dictionary,” he said with a sad smile.

“I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you use my first name without a ‘Miss’ in front of it,” she smiled back.

“Ack,” he said, “I apologize my manners have left me.”

“Don’t be so silly,” she playfully punched him on the arm. “Let’s get some more sweet tea in you.” She lifted the pitcher and filled his glass. He took a long drink and emptied the cup. She poured him another and sat back in her seat. “Feeling ok?”

“Better now, thank you,” he said.

“Good,” she said, “Would you like to talk about what happened? I just can’t believe that you could be anywhere near responsible for someone’s death.”

“Oh,” he said, sobering.

“You don’t have to,” she said hastily, “but it sounds like this is weighing on you pretty heavily.”

“Darlin’, you have no idea,” he replied. He rubbed his brow and for a second she was worried he might keel over, too.

Just as she thought he might speak, Ginger the pug bounced up the steps and brought a shower of feathers with her. Somehow she had managed to snag a bird and walked it up to Eugene looking for praise. To Delilah’s surprise, he congratulated Ginger like she’d won a gold medal.

Little droplets of blood trailed behind the dog. Small fluffy feathers caught by the wind swirled around on the deck in a tiny cyclone. It was a dark reminder of why Delilah was there in the first place. Her name was the one at the top of Gordon and Henke’s suspect list. If she wanted to get herself out of hot water it was important to find out what Eugene knew.

Happy with the admiration from her alpha, Ginger pranced through the doggy door and back into the house. Eugene chuckled, “For a pug, she is somethin’ else ain’t she?”

“She sure is. I had no idea pugs had prey drive,” Delilah said.

“She’s the only one I’ve had, but she’ll go after anything smaller than her. Then she goes and takes a nap for hours. I’d guess all that effort takes a lot outta her bein’ so small.”

“I’m sure! I can’t imagine the stamina she’d need for all that running around,” Delilah said as she pictured the small, squat dog trying to snatch a bird from the air. “She’s just so little!”

“Small but fierce. Isn’t that what they say? She got along well with…” his words trailed off.

“With who?” she asked.

Eugene sighed, “Ms. Delilah, please understand that I thought she was doin’ better. I thought...I thought that she had stopped wranglin’ discounts out of Amarica and Nicole. I thought she was healthy, too. I didn’t know…I just didn’t know…”

“Eugene, if you don’t want to tell me then don’t, but it feels like you’re ready to let someone else help you carry this weight. You just don’t know how to ask.”

“I’d just hate to burden you with my woes after everything she put you through,” he said, voice raw with emotion again. He pulled himself together, though, and continued. “I feel so much guilt, darlin’. I could have done things so differently. At my age…I just wanted someone to spend the rest of my days with.”

“I can understand that perfectly, Eugene. You’re human. You’re too hard on yourself.”

“Hmph. Maybe I am at that. Alright, darlin’, I’ll tell you everything. But promise me you’re not going to go screamin' from the house or nothin’,” he said. She laughed. He didn’t.

Delilah cleared her throat and said, “Of course not. I promise to hear you out.”

“Hilary Vernet and I were goin’ steady for about a year,” he stopped and looked up at her like he was waiting for a slap. When she did nothing he carried on. “We were great friends in the beginning and one day it became something more. She took me to places I’d never been. I’ve been a blue-collar man all my life. Not much time for travel when you’re workin’ to survive. Hilary wasn’t like that. She worked to live. To enjoy the things that most people wish for. She didn’t believe we were on this earth to carry the rest of the country on our backs. As a soldier, that was a new concept to me. I’ve always felt that I was built to serve and she showed me that it was ok to enjoy life. I marveled at her ability to teach an old dog new tricks. She made life look so easy. No obstacle could stand up to her, as you well know,” he said.

“I sure do,” Delilah supplied. A bitterness snuck into her voice, but she did her best to hide it.

“Just so you know, I did try my best to get her to stop hagglin’ with the girls," he supplied. He hadn't missed the tone her voice had adopted moments before.

“I believe that you did. Hilary was a tough nut to crack,” she said.

“If it’s any consolation,” he replied, “she said you have the most beautiful arrangements in the whole tri-state area. She just never paid full price for anything. She used to say, ‘The whole world’s on sale if you know who to talk to.’”

“An interesting point of view at the very least. My bottom line doesn’t appreciate it, but I get it. I think she liked the challenge.”

“Oh boy did she,” he said, “any challenge had to be conquered head-on. Some people are quiet, and bide their time before they make their move. Not Hilary. No ma’am. She had a plan mapped out in her head faster than you could shine a nickel.”

“It certainly sounds like you enjoyed her company. She made you happy?”

“She did,” he smiled. A brightness crossed his eyes for a moment. A fond memory of her perhaps. He waited a moment before he spoke again. “Tuesday was our date night at my house every week. It was the one night where she would come down to my level. We’d order a medium cheese pizza, and watch movies from our day. I’d make dessert. It was so good to have her in the house. Ginge loved it too. They had their own Tuesday night routine. As soon as Hil finished her pizza, she’d hand Ginge a tiny piece of crust, and then somehow—Hil never admitted to it picking her up— Ginger would end up on her lap. I’d come out from the kitchen with another slice and the two of them would be watching the TV together. It was the funniest thing. I never knew Ginge would watch that thing until Hil started coming around.”

“It sounds wonderful. My kind of night,” Delilah said.

“It was wonderful. I enjoyed every minute of it. Hilary was a firecracker. She loved to dance. There’s this club in Hamilton that plays 40s and 50s tunes. We’d go out when they had live music. You’d never know she was nearing ninety when she was on the dance floor. After a couple of nights of that my knees needed a break,” he laughed. “I begged her for a simple pizza night. It took me showin’ up at her house in my pajamas to get her to agree. She told me it was the first time she’d ever had pizza. I was glad I could finally show her something new.” The smile on his face faltered, “and then she got sick. An ambulance came for her at the club one night, and she was diagnosed with angina after a few days in the hospital. They put her on medication, but she hated how the pills made her feel. Having been through some of my own health issues I could appreciate where she was comin’ from.”

“I’m sure,” she said. “No one likes to feel like their body is betraying them. Especially as we grow older.”

“Oh, no, darlin’. Hilary didn’t begrudge her age. She’d just say, ‘It’s a number, and someday mine’ll be up. So why not live?’ But when she started the pills she wasn’t herself. Her spark was gone. She was tired all the time. We stopped dancin’ because she felt weak. She’d said that holdin’ my hand tightly enough was difficult sometimes. It was hard to watch her stop doin’ the things she loved, but I always hung onto pizza night and the calmness of it. I hoped that it was as comforting for her as it was for me. Plus on those nights she could rest. That’s why I did what I did. I thought I could help her. I thought that I knew what she needed.”

“I don’t understand,” Delilah said.

“You see…I thought that bein’ forced to slow down for her health would make her want to slow down. To see that the rat race can’t always be run at eighty-somethin’. That’d she’d want peace. Only she didn’t, and I was wrong.”

“What does that mean? I’m struggling to put together how you could blame yourself for her death. She had a heart condition, Eugene,” she said gently.

He bowed his head and rubbed his temples for a moment before facing her again, “I asked her to marry me, and she said no.”

“Oh, Eugene, I’m so sorry.”

He waved her apology away, “It was my fault,” he said, eyes shining with emotion again. “I should have known. There are some mustangs that you just can’t break, and she was not one to be corralled.”

“Not everyone wants to get married, and that’s ok. I’m just sorry she broke your heart. Know this, though, saying no to marriage didn’t mean she was saying no to you. Some people just don’t believe in marriage.”

“And that’s what she said. She was so nice about it. She let me down more gently than I deserved—”

“Eugene,” she reached for his hand again and held it. "You deserve the world. You just wanted to help her through life."

“No, no. I made assumptions. I should have known better,” he patted her hand, “since she still wanted to be my lady, we moved on with the evening like nothing happened. I was heartbroken of course, but I went to fetch her pizza from the kitchen and brushed off as many pink and purple flowers from the slice as I could. I had them add edible flowers to the pie for the occasion. Since flowers brought us together and all. We met at the shop, but I’m sure you gathered that,” he said. She nodded. “She ate half the pie. A first for her, but she had said she didn’t want my efforts to go to waste. And then, she just started breathin’ funny. She gulped down some sweet tea—she had given up wine because of the meds you see—and tried to clear her throat. After a couple of seconds I worried that she was choking. She stood and clutched at her chest. She was poundin' on it, and pullin' at her shirt like she was gonna take it right off. I ran to get her medicine thinkin' she hadn’t taken it, and called nine-one-one at the same time.”

Delilah’s hands flew to her mouth. She couldn’t imagine witnessing a loved one struggle like that in front of her. It was difficult enough to see Eugene in such an emotional state. She felt paralyzed. What would she have done in his place? She didn’t know.

“By the time the ambulance arrived she had passed out. I was doing CPR when they came running into the house. When they took over I felt so…useless. There was nothing I could do. I just…I just stood there. Even Ginger knew somethin' was wrong and stayed quiet despite all the people. Two ambulances and four paramedics later she was still unresponsive. They said she had a heart attack, a real bad one, and that there was nothing they could do.”

“Eugene…I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say other than this. She passed away from an illness. You couldn’t have prevented it. It was just an awful, terribly sad situation and you were right in the thick of it. Hilary wouldn’t blame you, so you shouldn’t blame yourself.”

“I should have saved her. I should have taken the first aid course at the senior center when they offered it. I should have been able to do more. I should have—”

“Eugene. Actual medical professionals couldn’t save her. Why do you think you could have done more for her?”

The question hung in the air between them. She thought he might start crying again, but it seemed like he had cried all of his tears. Shock, dismay, pain, loss, loneliness, and understanding all walked his face at once. She knew he knew that he wasn’t at fault, but he needed someone to blame. So he chose himself. Anger is much less painful than grief.

The two of them talked for a while longer. Eugene regaled Delilah with countless stories of the adventures he and Hilary Vernet had shared over the last year. He told her how they met one day when he approached her at the shop over her treatment of Amarica. Hilary had told him he had moxie for standing up for his co-worker.

About an hour later he called the police department for Delilah. He explained that on late delivery nights he sometimes took the van home. He would always return it the following morning, however, even if it was his day off.

According to Eugene, Hilary hadn't been feeling well on the Tuesday in question, so they agreed to have date night at her house instead of his. That night he had driven home to pick up Ginger and then left for Hilary's house in the van. He never went back to the shop to pick up his truck and went to work the next day like nothing happened. Sharing his pain with no one. Shouldering the whole ordeal alone.

Detective Henke had a lot of questions for Eugene. Why did no one have his information down as the 911 caller? Why had he left in such a hurry? Did he know if she had been drinking? Eugene answered all of his questions in the best way he could and handled the particularly ugly ones gracefully. When Henke insinuated that Eugene may have killed his girlfriend for her money Delilah wished she could have reached through the phone and slapped him.

When the phone call was over and the pitcher of sweet tea was dry the two people parted ways with a promise to see each other at work the next day. Delilah had offered to join him for dinner now and then when their schedules matched up. She wasn’t sure if he’d ever take her up on that, but she felt she had to try. They hugged before she left, and she put everything she had into that hug. She hoped he would be ok. She truly liked Eugene.

When she got in her car Delilah shot a text over to her friend Carrie that said, “Breakfast for dinner?” and put the car in drive not waiting for a reply.

Less than five minutes later Carrie replied to the message, which the Lexus read aloud, “Thought you’d never ask. You’re buying.”

Carrie and Delilah sat at their booth in the diner laughing and joking about the day’s events. In hindsight, the idea of Delilah going to jail was pretty funny. The imagery of an orange jumpsuit on her was too hilarious for Carrie. She even made a meme out of the joke while they teased each other about their performances at the police department.

When the bill arrived, Carried made a cross sign with her pointer fingers and nodded in Delilah’s direction. The server pivoted and placed the plastic check carrier on the table in front of Delilah. She reached into her bag for her wallet. It was a small square thing with a change purse attached and the weight of it had dragged it to the bottom of the bag. When she finally pulled it out several pink and purple flowers fell onto the table.

“Look at you. Never too far from work, I see. Carrying flowers with you all the time a part of the job or something?” Carrie teased.  

“Or something,” Delilah smirked. Carrie popped a cold home fry into her mouth.

“What are those? They’re so vibrant. Even dried,” she wondered.

“Mm, foxglove I think,” Delilah said as she laid the cash on the table.

“Oh, yeah. I’ve seen those before in the wild. Aren’t they kind of dangerous?”

“Only if you don’t know how to handle them,” Delilah said.

“No wonder the cops were sniffing around you. I forgot you deal with poisonous plants!” Carrie laughed.

“No wonder,” Delilah replied with a grin.

THE END.

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